Tuesday, January 29, 2008
January's photo update


spoke at : 17:12

Sunday, December 23, 2007
Season's Greetings

Almost exactly one year ago, it was the most hardest and difficult time of my life to move on. I was lucky I have my good friends around and colleagues who supported me morally through. Million thank yous for that.

Joe mentioned that I was lucky to experienced what I had. He is right there. It was indeed a good a chapter. As per my blog's name, Beautiful Disaster, has pretty much ended.

Time to create and plan another exciting and much more meaningful one.

Yours Sincerely
Jun


. . .


December's pictures:


spoke at : 23:16

Saturday, December 08, 2007
ARCHIVE
Fridae's journal (2004-2007)

This was extracted from a previous online Journal. Transferred it here for keep. You figure it out the puzzles ya.

……. (12 may 07)
........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................

bright hill drive later.
Cheers


Another month passed (27 Apr 07)I am not fussy when it comes to dates and bf etc. Really. But you have to know where i came from and my backgrounds etc. Cuz there are reasons to why where how whom and why.

cheers n get lucky for the wkends!


Work It Baby (9 Apr 07)
it's back to work. but my body clock is still parisien's. i still need full of rest and lots of sun.

love and sex life = level zero.

my life needs some priming before i go into full ahead mode with life... and sex in the city!


Bonjour! (1 apr 07)
Here I am in Paris with the cold weather. Supposedly early spring but weather is like autumn. There were occasional gails even. Tomorrow will be better.

I had such a terrific time in London. Attended a civil partnership ceremony in a posh english countryside. A heart moving event which claimed to be more meaningful and better than civil marriages. Not only I had good food, managed to catch dinner at Chez Gerard at Covent Garden. Marvellous steak and creme brulee. Best I ever had. People were warm and I made new friends who were so welcoming.

Paris is equally nice as well with the endless historical monuments, sites and buildings. Last but not least shopping. Put aside the French stigma and everything is fine.

I miss home. Can't wait to return and back to work.


If I need a holiday, I will go to paris (17 mar 07)
I am going to Paris. The romantic city full of dog poo. Thefts, riots etc. I lurve all that. We are all demoncratic people. Better not go that way or else I'll be next headlining in the papers.

Anyway, I will be away to Paris on Mon, 19th March.

Keep pouring those hearts. Thank you as it's the minimal that we gay people can do without hurting each other.

Potential BOYFRIENDS, do keep writing in as I welcome dates. I am not choosy but please understand that I have gone through quite a bit. So I have a certain expectancy level. Above all, I am still that loveable and homely bitch.


My hororscope (12 feb 07)
wake up dear boy and smell the roses.

someone might just come into your life anytime soon. be ever ready when cupid start shooting his arrow. feelings has been good and it will be mutual by the time you two meet. with all the love you two put in, evrything is possible. a new chapter will oink early this year. his name start with a D.

"right, we have not meet in person, on cloud 8."


Picking up the pieces (27 Jan 07)
as what mr timberlake had sung, im bringing sexy back...


Ending chapter (27 jan 07)
he was confused and needed time. not alone but with friends. new friends. friend.

i was so devastated to the max. no xmas. no new year. no one to share with my joy or sorrow. hurt n anger filled me without having or given valid reason.

am gonna get up and spank my ass and liven up. it'll take time. vices are my only companion. god help me get thru this phase quick.

no looking back.

paris is still planned for end march 07.


Would you like to dance with me (27 Jan 06)
Featuring some of the world’s best and most versatile world champions from 15 countries displaying a variation of 32 styles of western dancing, BURN THE FLOOR shook the world as the world’s hottest and most anticipated theatrical sensation on the world’s stage.


Chapel of Love (5 Mar 06)
yes i do want to get married. not sure where yet but i sure do want to hv my wedding album full of our shots in paris.


He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me (17 Feb 06)
yes. let's just put in all the positivity and convert it into a mere laugh and excitement.

Silly to think about it but hey.. isnt it all the same in all relationships for most of the time?? as what Beyonce sang.. was it from Austin Powers?, "you got to work it out..."

What have I got to lose. I've gained so much now. Including my weight.

Cheers


Petite Amie (22 Jul 05)
mon petite amie.. mon petite amie.. :)


Dear Me (14 Mar 05)
... .. ...


Insecurity (3 Mar 05)
My heart is low, My heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman, as only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know

The tears that drip from my bewildered eyes
Taste of bittersweet romance
You're still in my hopes
You're still on my mind oh
And even though I manage on my own

My heart is low, My heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman, only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know

When restless eyes reveal my troubled soul
And memories flood my weary heart
I mourn for my dreams
I mourn for my wasted love
And while I know that I'll survive alone

My heart is low, My heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman, only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know


this song has always been around to keep me company when some unwanted feelings arises...

subtle side of me...


”In-laws”(8 Feb 05)
I'm almost a permanent resident at my bf's place. making my presence is important in letting them know that i exist. fortunately, they began to accept the fact that their son cohabits with another guy. by now, i am a familiar face to the aunties and uncles as well. wonder what more surprises in store...

stay tuned kids...


The Train Ride Home (21 Nov 04)
I wasnt eve-dropping but the guy beside me was talking to her wife pretty openly..

"im gonna eat a whole chicken n have a bottle of carlsberg at marina square. it's been the same since ive known you as my gf and now my wife. my circle of friends got smaller. in fact i have no friends. sigh..."

i smiled listening to his latter revelations to his wife who was cuddling him by e shoulders. then suddenly, it got me reflected on myself...

###


Confession (15 Sep 04)
im startin to dread meetin my bf... e last time we met... no greet, no smile, no hello.. i cant even make eye contact with his eyes as he wore shades. been feelin somethin diff lately. e aura i received frm him is low.

when we meet a fren or maybe even a stranger, we would greet and might proceed with a smile... i was being treated less than that! gdness me

damn my heart sank. few times i controlled my tears frm flooding my eyes.

a genuine greet? walk the dogs? spend quality time at home together? is dat difficult of a task dat i asked? a simple life

im felt pity for myself dat i hv to confess right here and hoping no one would ever read this crap. i felt sorry dat i dun hv e guts to tell my bf my feelings. is it me or you? i dun gv a damn much abt it as i dun wan to prode into this too much. i shall juz cool off and walk e dogs more often. jia jia , gd girl...

now that im one person less to confide... i hv to wait for my faithful str8 fren's shoulder to cry next time we meet. come out w me soon ok

i was so proud to tell most of my str8 frens dat im gay and i hv a bf. now i need to go into hiding for e time being till things get better. i duno wat to say if they asked how am i doin? i might juz blurt n sob. sly me

i am just holding on to good memories and the four letter word l.o.v.e. we exchanged and an sms dat i saved to keep me reminded of our bond. i love you


I’ll Miss Her (8 Sep 04)
My one and only gf is leaving on 29 Sept for good. We known each other for over 10 years. Her absence is like a piece of puzzle missing from e whole picture. She is a treasure and there's no substitute. i am feeling e pinch.. as e date draws closer. my eyes will tears whenever i think of her.

its funny how close and dependant i became. will my dearest darling understand how i feel right now? will u walk with me in e rain? will u hold my hand when i tremble? will u cry with me when i down?



Yue Bing (29 Aug 2004)
I had a dream. In it i dreamt of another dreamscape that i was slicing a pie out of a mooncake (while doing that i had a recollection of my previous colleagues. we used to share our mooncakes and offer one another. we would have them during tea time or in betweens) someone aked me what was that all about (he knows what i was thinking) "they are my friends" i tears. i missed all the fun we had as colleagues and we became good friends.

funny how my mind works... mooncake festival is coming and i intend to get some. im not sure who'll share my piece of cake as im in different company now. my bf dun like e idea of sharing when i asked him recently. i used to share a lot of goodies with my previous colleagues. i miss them. that how e dream come about.

the tears...? i guess moving on to another phase be it an experience or maybe even over past relationship wise.. personally, im e type who have to go thru a complete cycle of what i went thru and i'll get over it after that. ermm.. im not thinking str8.. sorry.. need some sleep now (sunday 29th, 934am. bf still sleeping. im gona join him)


Double happiness (4 Aug 2004)
i was so absorbed by today's episode. the females has been having fisty, tongue stabbing argument sessions after sessions. the family biz going down. family members turning onto each other now. then the eldest brother (played by edmund chen) died.

that's when i cried non stop till the show ended. i was one of the actors in my own world then.

maybe some bits of the show has links phsychologically to my experience in life. arguments within families etc...

movies that made me cry: con air, so close, my sassy girl, sweet home alabama and of cos dbl happiness.

any title to share?

Me and myself at a glance (29 Jul 2004)
Lifehasbeengoodsofar.IhavesomeonewholovesmeandIlovehimsomuchmoreeveryday.Iamfortunatethatmyinlawsareniceandacceptingmeaspartoftheirfamilybynow.Toadd,wehavetwodogs(bitches)tokeepourselvesbusy.

AlthoughIamsocialisingsomuchlessernowadays,IamhappywithwhatIchosetodo.Mostofmyfriendshasbeensounderstandingandgettingusedtomydisappearancefromthescene.Iguesstoacertainpart,it'sthechangethatweinvolveourselvesthroughthestagesoflife...

spoke at : 16:15

Saturday, November 24, 2007
November 2007

God how fast time flies. I am so glad it does. Work has been so overwhelming and I almost out of hand.

I managed to take time of to go BKK with Jay & Sharon. Here are some snippets taken from my mobile hp camera.



Above all these, it's nice to know that there are still nice str8 people who cares. From mummy who bought breakfast for me, Jay who makes a point to make me walk ahead and assuring me that he's the man, Adrian who always open the doors (maybe because i'm his client) to Frankie who applied a plaster aid on my finger for me after spotting it bleeding.

...

Sunday Morning

I went to Ya Kun Kaya Toast round the corner in my usual berms, low v next n shades. The auntie spoke to me in a accent as though i'm a foreigner. "Hi Sir, Coffee or Tea for you?" instead of the usual "Kopi or Teh?" I think it's good as she would have the chance to practice her english and be fluent at it.

spoke at : 11:11

Monday, October 29, 2007
Dog dog sunday



While waiting for my haircut appointment, I made the effort to wake up early on Sunday and took the dogs for a walk. I bumped into this guy who I think a offtballer. He's black and friendly. Unlike the usual faces.

I bathed and dry them before spending with friends by the pool and the rest of rainy Sunday watching tv.

spoke at : 11:09

Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Here I come Duchess!




How come every time you come around
My London London Bridge want to go down
Like London London London wanna go down
Like London London London be going down like
...

Yes. Free tixs to Black Eye Peas concert. Timmy has been a good sport. Alan was there too of course! Yea.. Yee Har..

. . .

To add on to my accolades, I was asked for my ID when buying cigarettes at 7-11 last Friday. :)

. . .

15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: you wud not believe this
[15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: i had bad dreammmm
[15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: abt gary (gary is my ex-bf)
[15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: gary went to oz
[15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: n then an accident happened. died bitten by a shark
[15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: he lost his legs
[15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: n then his body
[15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: you brought it back
[15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: n did the ceremony burial
[15:00] joyeux anniversaire ecah: but i ate his flesh, somehow in the dream
[15:01] joyeux anniversaire ecah: yuckssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*
[15:10] joyeux anniversaire ecah: hey you there (i just returned from meeting and back to my desk)
[15:11] joyeux anniversaire ecah: i've been looking in e net for the meaning of my dreams
[15:11] joyeux anniversaire ecah: its just so gross
[15:11] Jun <>: hahahha
[15:11] Jun <>: thanks dear for e news
[15:11] Jun <>: i'll blog it later
[15:11] joyeux anniversaire ecah: serious ahhh
[15:11] joyeux anniversaire ecah: im so scared
[15:11] joyeux anniversaire ecah: gary lost both his legs
[15:11] joyeux anniversaire ecah: and i ate them
[15:11] Jun <>: just like e other dream u had (she dreamed i killed him with a very sharp knive piercing thru his heart. she screamed and had to be woken up by her husband)
[15:12] joyeux anniversaire ecah: like in e way to show respect (i hv no idea where this sentence came from)
[15:12] Jun <>: kekeke
[15:12] joyeux anniversaire ecah: it tasted gross in my dream
[15:12] joyeux anniversaire ecah: i saw his body in my dream
[15:12] joyeux anniversaire ecah: without both legs
[15:12] joyeux anniversaire ecah: so scary you knowww
[15:12] Jun <>: im goona settle some work. y dun u email it to me in a story
[15:12] Jun <>: im goona do some work now
[15:12] Jun <>: thanks for e news
[15:12] joyeux anniversaire ecah: he went to oz
[15:12] joyeux anniversaire ecah: but i want to know why i dreamt of these
[15:13] joyeux anniversaire ecah: its just so so grossss
[15:37] Jun <>: i wish i wud hv e chance n tell him
[15:38] joyeux anniversaire ecah: heheheh

So Gary, if you happen to find time and able to read this part, take note when you are flying over the Ozzie's water.

I think I'll tell Aunt Shirley and gossip gossip this weekend.

spoke at : 11:14

Friday, October 12, 2007
It's friday! 7.43pm! This is it! My mind can't go on anymore. After this i'm heading back.



That's Vernon's. Cool gadget.



That's courtesy of Martin. So sweet of him to have this for ME! Sharing this with the rest of my colleagues :)

spoke at : 19:41

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